The Quantum Angler
He never gets Bohred of fishing.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Europe debates future of houses

The terrible catastrophe in Japan has sparked fierce debate across Europe over the benefits of living in houses. With news networks showing wall-to-wall footage of houses being swept away by the devastating tsunami in Japan, European voters are becoming increasingly concerned over their governments' pro-house policies.

"The days when we could go on telling ourselves that houses were safe are over," writes Stëfan Güntherhausmeinschwürtzelsteinhof in today's Der Spiegel. "Japanese houses are among the most advanced in the world, and if even their houses can be destroyed by a massive environmental disaster of a scale you only find in seismically-active regions of the world, it could happen to any of us."

Europe has one of the highest rates of people living in houses of anywhere in the world, and many of its citizens are becoming increasingly worried about the ticking timebombs they live in. With public opinion quickly turning against houses, European leaders are stumbling to backtrack on previously sensible policies about housing. The Swiss government already looks set to draft emergency legislation to block construction of any new houses, encouraging citizens to leave their homes and go live in a tent in the Alps. One of Switzerland's 438 joint presidents, Arsene Fuquit announced the measures this morning, telling of how he dreamed of a Switzerland free from the dangers of tsunamis.

Within minutes of the first tsunami footage appearing, the UK's deputy prime minister Nick Clegg gave a speech on the issue. "After discussing with my Conservative colleagues, I now fervently believe we must burn all our houses and go and live in a cardboard box under a bridge," said Mr Clegg in absolute contradiction of the party's 2010 election manifesto, which clearly stated that "The Liberal Democrats will never ever ever ever advocate a policy of burning houses and going to live under a bridge," written in bold letters with size 32 Impact font on the front page of the manifesto, and signed individually by Nick Clegg.


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