Rant of the week: Jose Mourinho

What a jerk this guy is. I mean seriously, have you ever heard of a more obnoxious, self-important prick than Mourinho? Let's forget for a minute that he's at the helm of the most malevolent force in English football, and thus guilty of ruining the beautiful game, and let's instead hate him for the slime ball he is. A selection of quotes to prove my point follow thus:

"We have top players and, sorry if I'm arrogant, we have a top manager."

"I want to give my congratulations to them because they won. But we were the best team."

"I think I am the special one."

"I think [Arsene Wenger] is one of these people who is a voyeur. He likes to watch other people. There are some guys who, when they are at home, have a big telescope to see what happens in other families."

This man has to be the worst loser in history; he'll never take a defeat with grace, usually blaming either the ref or the other team for cheating (which is rich coming from the man who brought us Didier Drogba). I just can't wait to see his face when his benefactor Abramovich goes down for fraud just like his contemporary Mikhail Khodorkovsky. Haha!

Money money money

For the first time in over a year I have a positive bank balance! But what will I do with all this cash, you ask? Will I:

A) Pay my rent
B) Pay back all the money I owe my parents
C) Blow it all on slime mould

Only time will tell!