The Quantum Angler
He never gets Bohred of fishing.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

The funniest goal ever!

Saw this while watching Sky Sports News in the union the other day. I think it has to be the funniest goal ever. Do yourself a favour and watch it!

Monday, April 24, 2006

Hair chronicles II

The hair's really getting long now. I went swimming yesterday and it kept settling in front of my eyes whenever I came up for air. Very frustrating. I worked on developing a system of strategically blowing bubbles of air towards my fringe as I surfaced so it might not settle there, but the results are so far inconclusive (it will also need more work if I'm to not be seen pulling a silly face every time I poke my head out of the water!)

Friday, April 21, 2006

Martin Archery

At the risk of following Alex Guite down the slippery road of Martin Archer spotting, I feel I must share with you an amusing find. I think the logo speaks for itself, but if you don't believe me then visit

For more information about Martin Archer, visit the official Martin Archer blog.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Sandwich emergencies

In light of my recent adventures I thought I'd share my thoughts on the subject.

The first problem one might find themselves with is not having a knife. If this happens to you the first thing to remember is to relax, stay calm. The less experienced sandwich crafter might turn away at this point, running away with their tail between their legs, fleeing for the nearest Burger King. But fear not. Your've better than that. A closer inspection of your surroundings will usually reveal an item which can be adequaletly adapted for the purposes of 'wich craft. Rulers are a sound choice; not least because they more often than not have a slight serration caused by the raised markings.

"But I have no ruler" I hear you cry. "I'm screwed!" Calm down dear, it's only a sandwich. But alas, this is the exact predicament in which I found myself this lunchtime. With my comrades-in-physics tucking into their pre-prepared snacks, time was running out for the QA to fashion his bread, butter and cheese into an edible unity. That's when I turned to another alternative, the credit card. Although not serrated, the credit card is fairly stiff and thin, and will do the job. With this in mind, here is a run-down of some of the best and the worst cards on the market for dividing the humble loaf.

1. HMV Student Card - Stiff yet sharp, this little gem combines sharpness with stiffness, whilst giving you 10% off all the latest tunes.

2. Scream Card - Slightly stiffer than the HMV, allowing increased downwards force on the bread, however it's not as sharp and requires more skill to use. On the plus side they phased out scream cards at our local a while ago, rendering the card useless for anything else.

3. Imperial College Student Card - I haven't tried this one yet, but it looks to have the right characteristics. Which is more, it's every Imperialite's dream to hand over their swipe card to an over-zealous security guard whilst it's still covered in mexicana cheddar!

Next week... butter alternatives.

Hair chronicles

A lot of my dreams lately seem to involve me getting my hair cut, only to yearn for my fledgling locks for the remainder of the night. How strange.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Home on the range

Out amongst the stars we sat, and with our steeds grazing on the rich grasses and shrubs of the old West, we rested. The Texas kid's mouth organ wailed yearnings for bygone days, and a wolf howled off in the distance. I kicked off my spurs to warm my feet on the crackling fire, and sat in contemplation on the still night. Then Johnny 'revolver' McBride pushed something into my hands. "Get this down yer!" he said in his thick, twangy western tongue. I looked down at my feast, some real authentic Cowboy's Classic BBQ Beans flavour Hoola Hoops. I was home. As soon as I ripped open the packet, scenes of cattle rustles, saloon brawls, and 3 o'clock showdowns wafted past my nostrils. Yeah, this really was the food a cowboy dreamed about. Wasting no time I crunched down on this most essential of cowboy-fodder, and when it was gone, I lay down for the night a contented cowboy.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Student writes blog to avoid work

In a shock development today, physics student Simon Chard was revealed to have written an article in his blog in what is alleged to have been a callous attempt to avoid doing work. The incident occured at approximately 22:00 GMT in the Earl's Court area of London, and has already brought swift condemnation from leading academics. Prof E. Lectron of the Institute for Bearded Science (IBS) exclaimed "I was astonished when I heard what had happened. Is this what undergraduates today have become? A bunch of lazy gadabouts?". Others have seized on these events to renew calls for a student tax to help stamp out this kind of behaviour.

The student community has hit back, with statements from prominent student leaders condemning Prof Lectron's comments. President of the University of Cowes Student Union, T. Cherspett remarked "Comments such as Prof Lectron's do not help. This was an isolated incident; most students are very hard working and often go without food because they cannot tear themselves away from their books." The National Union of Students (NUS) is convening an emergency meeting on Monday to discuss the possibilty of more serious retaliatory action, possibly including a national boycott of lectures.

Yet the crisis shows no sign of abating. Metropolitan Police Commissioner Sir Ian Blair said in a statement "although the likelihood [of lecture boycotts] is small, we can assure the public that we have the resources to deal with any action to make sure all students attend their lectures." When asked about reports that all police leave had been cancelled he declined to comment.

Duffman was unavailable to comment for personal reasons.