The Quantum Angler
He never gets Bohred of fishing.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Not just a wreckless pastime

Back with a vengeance (and a snorkel), the QA presents some deep thoughts about scuba diving, the latest craze to hit the Imperial College Underwater Club.

"You haven't blogged in ages, Quantum Angler" I hear you cry, "where have you been?". A good question indeed, the answer to which is that I've been underwater. Not all the time of course, that would be silly, but rather on those occasions when I have indulged myself in the sport of scuba diving. I will now pass on to you the wisdom I have gained so far in my life aquatic.

So first of all, where do you go to scuba dive? Well, arguably the best substance to dive in is water. One notable example of this is the sea, but there are others. Ok, so you've found somewhere to go diving? Great, now you... hey wait, don't get in just yet! First you need an air tank or you'll die! A load of other stuff like fins and a mask are helpful too. Also you might want to consult a nautical almanac for the current state of the tide. Ok so you're all set up? Right, let's go diving!

Enter the water and descend slowly to the bottom. If you can't fathom how deep you are, take a look at your depth gauge. What's that you say? You've found a shipwreck? Excellent! Shipwrecks are ideal places to dive. When doing your training it's advisable to penetrate as far as possible into the wreck - open water can be dangerous. While you're down there feel free to take a look at some of the fantastic marine life to be seen underwater, such as crabs, fish, eels and mermaids. Be careful with crabs though, as they can turn on you in a snap!

Right, the dive's over now, so make sure you rush to the surface as quickly as possible to reduce the risk of missing last orders at the pub. Alcohol is an important part of any dive, and a good dive computer will calculate the right amount for you to drink, and your remaining 'no hangover' time. Some computers even allow you to specify the mix of spirits you will be diving on. Make sure you look for a good pub though, as some bars around the coast can be real dives.

I hope you've enjoyed the QA's top tips for scuba diving! Tune in next week when the topic will be Skydiving: What should I pack?

Disclaimer: Following my advice may result in death or serious humiliation. This article is written in jest and is not to be taken seriously (although if you do follow this advice you probably deserve a Darwin award anyway).