The Quantum Angler
He never gets Bohred of fishing.

Thursday, December 03, 2009

Quorn unveils breakthrough in realistic vegetarian meat

Quorn has unveiled a new line of vegetarian meat substitutes, which it claims are impossible to differentiate from the real thing. Announcing the product at a press conference at Quorn Nature Synthesis Labs (QNSL) in California, lead scientist Dr F. Enstein hailed what he called "the biggest breakthrough in vegetarian food for decades".

While remaining tight-lipped about the techniques used, Quorn claims to have developed a method of synthesising artificial meat with "unprecedented detail". Demonstrating the company's new line of vegetarian chickens, Dr Enstein explained the process. "The meals take a while to grow, just like real meat. And when they're finally ready, we pick the plumpest, juiciest looking meals, catch them, and send them off to the vegettoir to be processed for the customer."

"Right from beginning to end, you'd never know these weren't real animals," continued Enstein. "And best of all, everything you see here is 100% vegetarian!"